Mountain Shark
"If it's still out there in the open like that...there's no telling what carnage it could create." - Major Hawkes
release year: 2024
genre: shark cheese
viewing setting: home streaming 8/18/25
synopsis: An experimental weapon gets out of control, and (mostly) tedium ensues.
impressions: While it wasn't as bad as a Wild Eye production (with their cardboard sharks) it was still pretty low-budget. It made copious use of the "stretch out the running time" tactic, wherein normal and non-entertaining things are intentionally drawn out much longer than normal to pad the running time. A person walking along is shown walking for maybe forty seconds instead of ten, which is an extra thirty seconds of fluff to beef up the running time. And so on. Other elements of note: English or Irish or Scottish actors and their accepts...the soldiers being pretty damn far from elite...no explanation whatsoever about how the hell the shark moves through the ground...a guy suddenly having a leg injury for no apparent reason...a weirdo showing up to the womens' tent in the middle of the night...the shark moving really slowly when chasing some people...a crazy scientist who, it turns out, "tested those brain experiments on himself"...idiots who can't work together to overpower and disarm a single person who they know is going to kill them all anyway...lack of awareness of the Tremors tactic of standing atop big rocks to avoid getting attacked by underground burrowing monster. I trust you get the point by now.
kill count: 9 confirmed, plus 1 found dead and 1 shot by a person
acting: The cast did their best, but this was just weak writing. The guy who played the crazy scientist was completely over the top.
final word: This isn't even good shark cheese, it's bad shark cheese. My wife told me she was sorry she suggested this one.
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